Boundaries is a simple word with complexity in reality.
Over the years, society and the world has taught women like us…
…To be quiet…
…Don’t slouch…
…Be careful…
…Toughen up…
…Boys will be boys…
…Listen to your elders…
…and the list goes on and on and on. Well you know what, enough with that bullsh*t. Idgaf anymore! I am putting my foot down and what I say matters, so you should listen if you know what’s good for you!
Right? No, not “right?” as if it was a question. Right! Because I know I am not the first to feel this and hell I know I won’t be the last. So it is about damn time we were taught about boundaries, don't you think?
It is very simple to define boundaries. Boundaries are set in place so that there is a clear line that cannot be crossed, and if it is crossed well then something is not right there. Another way to think of boundaries is by renaming the word itself - non-negotiables. These are meant to be set in place for you to feel safe, secure, and loved. Knowing your non-negotiables is a form of self-love. Loving yourself enough to say ‘no’ and to put your foot down when needed.
So that brings us to the big question, doesn’t it? How do you set boundaries?
1. Self-discovery
Know what you expect within a relationship and what you need to feel connected within the relationship.
2. Design the Relationship
Clearly define what you need and explain why it is important. Stay simple and explain the impact if boundaries are crossed.
3. Communication
Wait till you are not in an emotional state. Note your points so that you do not get derailed when sharing. Say what you mean, do not sugarcoat it.
Now that you know how to set boundaries, you are all set and ready to go! Just kidding, I wouldn’t throw you to the wolves like that! What do you take me for?
Here are some extra tips for you when it comes to setting boundaries:
Start small and early on. Try to implement your boundaries as soon as you are aware of them and that they are needed.
Be consistent. Do not give in on your boundaries as it causes confusion for the people in your life.
Allow room for growth. You can outgrow boundaries as well as creating new one. As we grow, our boundaries need to be ready to adapt with us. Who you were yesterday, may not be who you are today.
Separation of self. Do not compare what you need to another person. Everyone is different and need different things. Just as different plants need different care, we are the same in that sense.
Communicate. Always work on your communication skills, how you show up, your tone of voice, and the way you present yourself.
Do not lose it when your boundaries are crossed as that is a time for information to be gained. It gives you perspective and you will learn to react accordingly.
Awareness. Become aware of others' boundaries around you. Your boundaries may have conflict with another and you both may need to adapt/change and a compromise may be needed.
Well there you have it ladies, go out and set some badass boundaries!
For more on boundaries, tune into my podcast - Battle of the Mind - for more content.
If you need more support in shifting your mindset, you can purchase my book that serves as a guide to reach intentional consciousness. Click the link below to get your own copy!
A Woman’s Badass Battle: How to Overcome Challenges and Become Your Most Authentic Self https://www.amazon.com/Womans-Badass-Battle-Challenges-Authentic-ebook/dp/B09NMT5ZXH/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?crid=1YV7EHLMS1ZDQ&keywords=battle+of+the+mind+by+taylor+macuci&qid=1640048807&sprefix=battle+of+the+mind+by+taylor+macuci%2Caps%2C90&sr=8-2
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